Normally, and usually of course, this ramble would be juvenile and pure fun, but today this ramble has turned into rage. Pure, evil, anti-yum-yum rage.
Today, on my way home (Long Island to Brooklyn via LIE/BQE) I was almost murdered (and when I say murdered I mean a person in another vehicle almost killed me, which I deem as an attempt on my life thus meaning murder)!!!
I was entering the LIE after a lovely day in Long Island (visiting the folks and allowing my dog to have some space to run around and poop and pee freely amongst nature), when all of sudden I was being pushed off the road by some insane human trying to kill me!
Coming onto the highway there is that usual strange exchange when those who want to exit allow those wanting to enter to speed up and come across while they come in behind and make a safe bowing out of the highway, or other such roads. It is a ballet of dangerous proportions that can be quite graceful and elegant. A moment in time where you and your car work effortlessly with another vehicle to create a perfect driving experience.
Instead this other person was trying to kill me and had clearly never taken vehicular ballet lessons. Oh no! This person was out for manslaughter and with snarling lips, acid for saliva and fangs that stretched the lengths of the Rhode Island, the driver approached without a watchful eye, which the driver had all three hundred of them focussed on everything except the delicate dance that these unknown partners were about to take part.
The driver began to inch over... they inched and the inched like a milipede trained to kill.
As an act of desperation I began to scream and honk my sweet Corolla's horn hoping that this monster would heed to the yelping of my soon to be demolished car.
The creature was awoken by the loud sound and got started as all three hundred eyes swam in different directions searching for a way out. It seems that the loud cry started the snarling beast who then slowed the vehicle down and commenced with the dance that should have take place just moments earlier.
As the white car that housed the dark monster pulled up the ramp, while I continued on my way on the miracle road to home, the creature continued to look at me, with droopy eyes and a mangled grin. What seemed to be a confused state for this monstrosity of life created a strange moment where my anger and fear disipated as I drove home.
Now, I bring this story up because of one reason and one reaon only. This reason is not because my life was threatened, because and drive that frequents these roads knows that ones life is threatened on a regular basis.
The reason I bring this up is because this driver was driving a Corolla!!! I felt betrayed and hurt that a person that road within a vehicle that should be friendship only brought fear and anger.
Unfortunately, this person has be banned from ever being a Corolla Buddy. Just because you are in a Corolla, does not mean you deserve the be a Corolla Buddy.
Please be on the lookout fellow Corolla-ers for these drivers who do not understand the responsibility that you embody as a Corolla-er. I give all people the power to ban any Corolla driver who does not hold up the integrity of what it means to be a Corolla-er.
Anyway, I love pickles.
Do you.........................................................
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