Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Tornado!!! In Brooklyn???


You heard it true folks. There was an F2 tornadIEO in Brooklyn on August 8th 2007 with winds topping off at 135 miles per hour. Wowser!!





It was quite a site at 6:45 in the morning. My day started about an hour earlier when I needed to take my dog Ellie for her morning pee and poop. I looked outside and rather than a nice dry morning, it was pouring, thundering and lightning-ing. I had no choice because, well, she's got to go and that's that. Rather than attempt an umbrella, I just buckled down and went outside with just a t-shirt and shorts, completely prepared to take an outside shower and I must admit, Mother Nature provided better pressure than my shower head.


Of course I checked on my Corolla, being that I am a Corolla-er. I needed to make sure that my car was okay and there were no dings or other what not things over the course of the evening. It was fine, of course. He's a tank! (by the way, I named my Corolla Floyd, so yeah). So I continued on my Ellie. She peeped, not pooped, but I was glad to head back upstairs to dry off and go back to bed.


I headed back to bed, but was kept somewhat in limbo because of the nonstop crashes and bright flashes. My financiey then woke me up to let me see that the tree outside our window seemed to be in a different place. Well, we look out the window and it seems that our tree is being blown so hard it is held in a strange position further away from our window's view. Oh boy oh boy oh boy, flounder.


We watch the wind and all the stuff it is doing to the place and as it died down we headed back to bed until 1:00 P.M. Yes, I sleep late, and yes, I don't care too much, and yes, I am off for the summer because I am a teacher and I can rock it that way.


I woke up and saw that my father called. I called him back and he explained to me that tornado had hit Brooklyn! What that poopie cockie lockie karate choppy! A TORNADO in BROOKLYN!!! Well, I quickly came to terms with this fact and that was that.


My financiey had just come back from walking the dog and explained to me that everything looked wrecked outside (could this be it. Could Floyd have succumbed to the storm? Would he ever drive free with the wind in his hair and the sky in his sweet sweet eyes?). She explained quickly the the Corolla was fine. A sigh of relief and the confidence swept through me and I knew that I, a Corolla-er should have known that no stinky little storm with 135 mph winds could affect or effect Floyd. Hah!!!


Later that day we took a stroll to G-Farms (This is our local grocery store and is actually called Golden Farms, but G-Farms is way sweeter. The sweetest and bestest like Halvah rockin your teeth all the way to the dentist) , and on the way we noticed all the trees and debris everywhere. What a trip. I also got some pickles. Major awesome-o.


Once we dropped the groceries off we took the pup to peep and poop. During the outing we took some picture. Notice the destruction!!!






Now, above you all saw the destruction that Mother Nature can cause. Pretty frickin gnarly. That some knotty booty stuff, but if you look below you'll see that this Tornado ain't got nothin on the Corolla!!


All this storm could do was stick a twig in the headlight!!!!


Well, that's my storm coverage and the sweetness of the Corolla.


We win!!!!! Corolla Buddies Unite!!!!

Monday, August 6, 2007

I am ANGRY at a fellow Corolla-er!!! HMPH!!!

Normally, and usually of course, this ramble would be juvenile and pure fun, but today this ramble has turned into rage. Pure, evil, anti-yum-yum rage.

Today, on my way home (Long Island to Brooklyn via LIE/BQE) I was almost murdered (and when I say murdered I mean a person in another vehicle almost killed me, which I deem as an attempt on my life thus meaning murder)!!!

I was entering the LIE after a lovely day in Long Island (visiting the folks and allowing my dog to have some space to run around and poop and pee freely amongst nature), when all of sudden I was being pushed off the road by some insane human trying to kill me!

Coming onto the highway there is that usual strange exchange when those who want to exit allow those wanting to enter to speed up and come across while they come in behind and make a safe bowing out of the highway, or other such roads. It is a ballet of dangerous proportions that can be quite graceful and elegant. A moment in time where you and your car work effortlessly with another vehicle to create a perfect driving experience.

Instead this other person was trying to kill me and had clearly never taken vehicular ballet lessons. Oh no! This person was out for manslaughter and with snarling lips, acid for saliva and fangs that stretched the lengths of the Rhode Island, the driver approached without a watchful eye, which the driver had all three hundred of them focussed on everything except the delicate dance that these unknown partners were about to take part.

The driver began to inch over... they inched and the inched like a milipede trained to kill.

As an act of desperation I began to scream and honk my sweet Corolla's horn hoping that this monster would heed to the yelping of my soon to be demolished car.

The creature was awoken by the loud sound and got started as all three hundred eyes swam in different directions searching for a way out. It seems that the loud cry started the snarling beast who then slowed the vehicle down and commenced with the dance that should have take place just moments earlier.

As the white car that housed the dark monster pulled up the ramp, while I continued on my way on the miracle road to home, the creature continued to look at me, with droopy eyes and a mangled grin. What seemed to be a confused state for this monstrosity of life created a strange moment where my anger and fear disipated as I drove home.

Now, I bring this story up because of one reason and one reaon only. This reason is not because my life was threatened, because and drive that frequents these roads knows that ones life is threatened on a regular basis.

The reason I bring this up is because this driver was driving a Corolla!!! I felt betrayed and hurt that a person that road within a vehicle that should be friendship only brought fear and anger.

Unfortunately, this person has be banned from ever being a Corolla Buddy. Just because you are in a Corolla, does not mean you deserve the be a Corolla Buddy.

Please be on the lookout fellow Corolla-ers for these drivers who do not understand the responsibility that you embody as a Corolla-er. I give all people the power to ban any Corolla driver who does not hold up the integrity of what it means to be a Corolla-er.

Anyway, I love pickles.

Do you.........................................................

Saturday, August 4, 2007

What's in YOUR Trunk?










Too often as Corolla drivers, we are the types to be handy dandy thank you mandy types, meaning we got stuff in our trunk that we may see as necessary, while others see these items are less then necessary.






For me, I'm new to the Corolla club so I have yet to accumulate all that stuff that we see as being a integral part of our Corolla-ers arsenal. Now, if you take a look you can see that I have a blue fleece, to keep me warm, a black shirt, so I can look sexy, and a book of CD's, so I can rock out with my, well, you know what I mean.






What you may not see as clearly, since as Corolla-ers, we all know that these trunks can be MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD deep yo. Uh-hem, yeah. So if you look way back in that trunk you will see that I have quite a unique group of objects stuck in the back.


















What's this? A sandwich!?! Well, driving this hot ride does make a guy hungry.



I wonder what else you can find?


















What is this? What is this odd item in the Corolla. Oh, it's just some tea-bags. Yeah, I roll like that!











I think if I look waaaaaaaaaaay back there I can find just one more item. Lets take a look!






























Oh my gosh!!! It's an extra pair of feet!!! Well, I did say that us Coralla-ers rock out with our, well, extra feet in the trunk. Hey, you never know when you might need a set of feet. Like, when you get your feet cut off by a monkey looking for vengeance upon their lost jungle space here in Brooklyn, um, maybe not, but hey, ummmm, FEET!!! Yeah!!!!



Well, the purpose of this is simply that if you have a Corolla, send some pics and I'll post them and we can be a happy family.
Also, remeber, any related stories, events, fun times in the Corolla or the Corolla's trunk, send them this way.
Thanks!!!
Corolla Buddies Unite!









Friday, August 3, 2007

Corolla Buddies Unite!





Alright fellow Corolla-ers out there in this fine planet. You have a calling and that calling is to become part of the soon to be vast network of Corolla Buddies! We are all different, but we all have one thing in common: The Corolla.




Now, the Corolla has a nasty past of being, dare I say, a bit lame. I too believed this fine automobile to be lame and would only lead me down the path of death and mediocroty. As a result I began to scan every person who drove a Corolla. At first the results looked bleek. Old men and women alike drove their Corollas slowly and lamely. Over time (maybe two weeks) I started to notice that not all Corolla drivers were lame. They were only semi-lame at best.




As a result, I want the world of Corolla-ers to join together and share their Corolla related stories, thoughts, lives, songs, recipes, dances, transplants, books, burgers, gardens, plums, pets, etc...




So join along in the fun and lets show the world that we are not lame, but only semi-lame at best.